2003-10-25
re-connected
:: the flamming lips ::
there is now (only six months later) a phone line in the apartment! yeah :] happy for me. although, my mac is not up and running, it needs a new power cord. damn those things anyway. always breaking, thats two in two years i've gone through. and lets not forget that there about eighty bucks a pop, not including shipping from apple.
they need an apple type spartan brand. cheap can be good.
so, for the moment, im using t.j's computer. and it's a hassel. there is no mouse. well, we have two in fact, but his computer is well beyond is prime and requires a serial mouse, which we do not have. but need. so, until we get a serial mouse or a new mac ibook power cord, ill be doing my best navigating the internet with my tab and enter keys.
things are getting better in the apartment. things are much better than when jewels was living here. there is less stress. but things have been quite tense. if you could see my living room right now, you would understand. my home is in serious disarray, mimmicking my mind and its state of confusion.
im not liking it in the least bit. i like cleanliness and order. i don't like bits and bobs of paper and trash on my floor, but at the moment, its taking hold of the living room, and my mind.
im learning more day by day, that perscription drugs are not universal, they may claim to cure or control a specific problem, but i assure you they will not work for everyone. this, i did already know, but not to such extreme that i am facing now.
lithium is supposed to be a mood stabalizer, but on some, it can do the exact opposite. it can actual create the mood instability and cause rapid change between happiness and madness, calmness and rage.
im upset that the doctors are not required, or if they are, choose not to inform everyone of this possible "side-effect". not once were we warned that if moods became frequently violent and a continuos feeling of restlessness was expierenced to stop taking the drug. even when informed, the doctor did nothing, but suggested it was due to another drug. and when that was stopped, the instability did not, but increased.
i recently read 'Abuse Your Illusions', which has some excellent pieces in it, but the information on the "lilly suicides" really suprised me. many antidepressants have been known to cause patients to commit suicide and have various other side effects. although they occur in a seemingly small number of cases, i think it should still be taken as a serious testing result and doctors should be required to warn there patients of this risk.
im ranting today, when i should be cleaning.
and the point of this entry?
im back. :]
lunaadored at 5:41 p.m.