2004-04-02
happiness
:: Ugly Cassanova ::
spring is nearly here, its seeping in. the clean crisp air is helping my moods. there is something that i can be optimistic about. theres nothing quite like driving with all the windows down on a warm (or warmer than you're used to) day and letting everything inside. everything you've recently spent months hiding away from.
i can't wait to truly put my feet back on to the ground, let the grass tickle my toes, and dig my hands into sand. then i'll be okay, then everything will seem fine.
perhaps a picnic will be just the temporary relief i need. on top of a hill, sitting in the grass, in the suns warmth. i'll lock myself in those rays and pretend everything beyond the edges of my hill only exists as scenery and for no other reason. all the suffering and pain beyond those edges will simply be conflicts in a novel and i can close the book and forget that piece of fiction, and all the people are merely characters in a film and at anytime i can hit stop and they will be faces in my mind and over time i will lose the images and the conflicts they were a part of. and i can fast foward through all the scary scenes, past all the violence and faults of humanity... fast foward straight to the happy computer generated ending.
lunaadored at 10:49 p.m.