2004-08-21
hope and hopelessness
:: air ::
i've never experienced a hurricane before. but on friday the thirteenth, i did, and it was crazy. i love storms and i sat outside on a porch for nearly the entire time. rain and insane wind, i've got a small passion for natural chaos. i wish i would have had someone to really share the excitment with.
i was lucky though, it completely tore through florida and ruined peoples homes. material possession are not the most important thing, and many people should be thankful they are still alive. but your home is where your family belongs, and without that, where do you go? there are many people living in highschool auditoriums and community centers.
charley ripped through polk county, where i am, and we ended up just about ten miles from the outer edges of eye. my grandparents live in a trailer park in one of the hardest cities hit, and they're coming down from michigan this weekend to check out all their damage.
and hurricane season isn't nearly over. september has the most hurricanes on record. fun, fun.
i didn't realize i've been down here this long. two months. i finally found a decent job. working for crispers, a new resturant type place down here. i'm working in their corporate offices which are right downtown and across the street from the park. its a pretty place, and a pleasant walk to the office in the morning.
so far, i love it. i work with some really nice people and i hope it stays that way. they let me order some office supplies (which i love!) and i ordered some great highlighters and pens and even a cutsey rolodex. i just need an office chair.
other than work, im just waiting for things to fall together down here. living with my "father" has been a nightmare. i'm not even going to go in all the issues i'm dealing with and/or he's causing.
what i need is some kind of support down here. its much easier to find friends when you're young. you have school, and its a friend breeding ground, generally. once you move into adult hood, its much more difficult. especially for me, im unfortunately very shy, its just not in me to go up and talk to people. i'm just quiet. once i get steady finacially, i'd like to take a yoga class or something along those lines.
one thing i've been thinking about lately is how people torture themselves. why do we do things that are only going to hurt us, and most of the time, we know it will happen. why do we keep ourselves in situations that go sour.
we use hope as an excuse. we hope its going to get better, we hope its going to work out. now, hope can be extremely beneficial in the correct situation, but once a bananna is rotten, we can't live off the hope that it will become fresh again.
lunaadored at 1:38 p.m.