2002-12-04
this one german girl
Dreaming to: Sigur Ros
I love my lotion. My lovely dear Claudia sent me some wonderful stuff from Germany and I just cannot get enough. She was an exchange student two years ago, and I miss her so much.
Senior homecoming, we all went back to my place, and one of my friends brought her over. I just happend to have rented Run Lola Run, and that made her day. Finally something she could understand with out whiping out her dictionary.
We talked and talked and realized how much we had in common. We were like lost sisters.
Her host family here was horrible, complete arseholes. So, she moved in with us, and became our exchange student, more like a family member that we made fun of because she couldn't speak proper english. :] Made me love her more. I love how she says Peerson, instead of person.
We didn't have much room, so we bunked up and she stayed in my room. She became my new best friend. I had never, and still have not ever been that close to someone, mentally or emotionally. But as they tend to do often, good things go bad.
The friend who brought her over was actually my best friend at the time, Katie. Things were a bit rocky between us at that time. Then, eventually it just faultered. Things just changed, and we were becoming different people. It was a bit devastating for me. She had been my closest, and most trusted friend for years, and everything was routine for us. We always got together, we always talked, chain smoked cigarrettes in my car while blasting Showoff. It was as if I was somewhere else without her.
But I was upset. She just stopped talking to me, not calling etc. She started telling people things about me that were supposed to be between the two of us. We stopped everything, there was no we anymore. I honestly hated her.
But me and Claudia kept going strong. We eventually went of vacation with my family. It had been months since I had last talked to Katie.
Then one night, out of the blue, I had a dream. I was driving me, Claudie, and my other friend to school. We got there, and my car wouldn't turn off. We went into school and during lunch, I went to the nearby mall to give my friend her backpack that she had left in my car. My car still would not turn off. I ran around the mall, came back to my car, got in and started off to school. I heard a odd breathing noise and looked in my rear-view mirror and seen Katie sitting there, staring at me with bright green eyes. This was one of three of my only color dreams.
I woke up in a cold sweat, really upset by it for some reason. When we got back home, and things started up with Katie again. She started talking to Claudia, a lot. I was completely fine with that. I wanted her to make amends. She was only going to be here a couple of more months, and it would be awful to leave with bad feelings towards others.
Soon, she started leaving me, not coming home, etc. Then, she broke plans with me for Prom. She was going with Katie now, but she wanted me to go aswell. I had no one else to go with, so I went with them. Worst mistake. I had a horrible time. I couldn't stop thinking of all the things Katie had done and said, and how Claudia had started doing the same.
Claudia became Katie and I eventually stopped talking to her, and she moved out. She came over the day she was leaving for Germany. Her mom and little brother was with her. They gave my parents gifts and talked for awhile. I said hi to her mom and brother, but not Claudia. I didn't talk to her at all. I walked away from her, shut the door and never looked back.
I'm sure I sound like a self-absorbed, possesive freak, but I'm not. Friend are supposed to be just that, friends. Trusting, kind, supportive, not rude, conieving, and hurtful. It was no longer a friendship. It doesn't sound as upsetting in words as it did in real life. It truly broke my heart not to talk to her, but I just could not let myself.
She called all that summer. My brother was pissed at her too, my parents somewhat as well, but more forgiving than the two of us. Gerrit thought of her as a sister, and was hurt by what she did. He felt that she turned her back on him. He called her a bitch and hung up on her everything she called.
I began to get emails from her, expressing her remorse and I decided to write back. We started talking, and we do so quite often now. We're better, and I miss her. Loads. But even writing this made me cringe somewhat. Its hard to deal with things when the person you trusted and loved most, turns their back on you. But, I'll be here, ready and willing to put her up for a couple of nights when she comes back.
My lotion bottle says "Neu!"
Bebe young care
Soft body lotion
Mit
honig und hafermilch
And I have no idea what it means.
lunaadored at 11:45 pm